Dance With Me [II]: Embracing Change

One of my team mates at dance has quit the team – just this evening.

People come and go so this is fine except for the fact that the choreography and formations would have be adjusted to fit seven bodies instead of eight and we have five working days and two rehearsals till show-time and guess who would be bearing the bulk of the changes?

Lucky me :)

Now, the good thing about this is that I am a late entrant – whilst the rest started with the choreography since January, I joined in only after my return from Shanghai in late March. Which means what I’d learnt has been in my muscle memory only for about six weeks (versus their 20) so I can always unlearn and relearn. The short time frame is challenging but it is achievable.

I figured that it really is about sizing up the situation, understanding the loss curve, dealing with uncertainty and most importantly, embracing change.

Throughout the two hours today, most of us landed up at different corners of the stage from where we were told we should end up originally. In other words – CHAOS.

But we stayed nimble, made necessary adjustments, compromised on our respective positions, re-aligned ourselves and ta-da! At the end of 120 minutes, it all seemed to have worked itself out. The key takeaways:-

1) Ego: Respect the leader (there can be only one since too many cooks spoil the broth) and know that it is about esprit de corps
2) Listen: Open up your mind (and ears) to grasp the big idea so you can execute your role properly
3) Space: Respect the other person’s space so that you can co-exist in peace on stage
4) Courage: Have the guts to tell yourself that you can take on any challenges (and changes)
5) Agility: Have the flexibility to unlearn and relearn at short notice
6) Passion: need I say more?

I never understood why dance has never been considered a team activity in the corporate arena because every single dancer (be it amateur or professional) worth their salt knows that in a full on choreo, you can only be as good as the next person – any body/ bodies out of sync would ruin one good piece of performing art.

It’s funny how these dance anecdotes dawned upon me only in recent years. Someone once told me that I am a very late bloomer but 24 years is stretching it a bit.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to get the 60% change in my choreo and new positionings into thy system by noon on Saturday!

Tell me to break a leg!

Kindred Spirits | Light | Life | Public Relations

This is not meant to be a cryptic post but it is going to seem like it is because I am going to allow my thoughts to flow today.

Contrary to popular belief, the role of a comms manager is not a bed of roses. Comms/ PR or whatever you know and understand of my profession is not about looking good and shaking hands. It is a job that requires professionals with resilience to deal with things and situations at all levels; from high (strategic) to mid (task and execution) to low (getting your hands dirty to get something done - this includes crawling on all fours). Coming from a country that is big on education, I feel that it is important for this to be a preamble.

After going through a bizarre two months, I got to talking about the phrase, "surrounded yet alone" with my girlfriend today. Anything that you could imagine that could cross my life took place in the last two months. Without going into more detail, I will zoom in on this week, which consists of:-
1) system crashing when typing in Chinese
2) dealing with clueless and strange people (if you factor in egos, it's double the pain)
3) meeting tight deadlines
4) vertigo (the non-blonde way of saying "*faintz*")
5) last minute concalls

It's tough and I find it hard to explain to people, even to my very patient lunch partners about what I have to deal with. But then again, every job has its challenges :)

I took a train home with my gal pal today, after having to ignore my gal pals for an hour due to a concall that I got to know about at the eleventh hour, I had to explain what transpired in the last few weeks. When I got off at my regular train stop, it was raining cats and dogs. So, instead of taking my regular solitary walk, I meandered to the cab queue and waited. I patiently waited... and after three cabs passed and being in the queue for a good half an hour, I decided to start a conversation with the girl next in line.

My opening:-

"Hi, are you staying in the East? If so, we should consider sharing a cab since they are taking a loooooooong time to arrive"

she said, "yes. I am staying at xxxx"

which is the condo opposite mine.

so we got to talking. She thought that I was in law (I was in my signature black) and I thought the same of her and we happen to be the same age and in the same profession (and situation), managing the same region. *very bizarre*

So for the next half an hour, we shared work woes, industry sentiments and for the first time in eight weeks, I realised that I am not alone!

Perhaps it is God's way of telling me that He is beside me every step of the way but I was almost in tears when we both agreed that the best five minutes of a work day are the five minutes spent writing on and sealing an envelope because it is so brainless.

I thank God that I have a community and even though I may not meet them at work, at least I meet my comrades in taxi queues.

So yes, I now have a neighbour who jogs the same route (though she has much more stamina), who has common friends with me, grew up in the same neighbourhood in the Eastern side of Singapore with me and is able to share my work woes.

Like me, Like me.

What a great way to seal the mid-week.

Dance With Me [I]: Keep Moving

I recall the first time I was told to go across the floor. I was a wee child of about eight. the music was fast and the dance hall was huge. The task was daunting but I knew that I had to move along or hold everybody else back.

Not a natural, I hated dancing at that age but if there was anything that dance taught me, it's about pushing through with what you loath, falling into familiar rhythm, locking it into muscle memory and spinning lithely around every obstacle that's in your path.

My love-hate relationship (mostly love) with dance has gone on for 24 years and anyone who has gone through formal dance training would be able to empathise with getting bruised and broken along the way. I found myself flat on the butt doing tours en l'airs many times and I can never ever seem to perform an axel jump without feeling the fear of falling (I still can't do the axel). I recall hearing my own hamstring tear like a broken guitar string once whilst I did a split and felt my own blood drain.

Like every dancer, both pro and amateur, I give myself the permission to keep trying. It's not about making the same mistakes again and again but to keep reminding myself that it is alright to make mistakes, plunge, pick myself up again, fall back into rhythm and be tougher than before.

The idea is to keep moving, be it forward or sideways. Sometimes, one may even err by taking one step forward and two steps back. But still, we move with the music because motion can alter the mind and sometimes, motion can also make one feel better about the unavoidable missteps of life.

There Is Season For Everything...

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Strength

Some weeks back, I wrote about my late mother. April 19 this year would have been the tenth anniversary of her death.

I'd always envied my friends and people around me who still have their parents around still.

God works in strange ways sometimes. I took a trip back to the land of my alma mater, Melbourne last August, to visit friends and my aunt, who is more like a second mother to me. The desire to go back to my second home was always there but I'd found numerous excuses not to return in the last six years, citing work load and lack of leave as excuses. But I was glad that I made the trip back and spent some time with my aunt for this morning, I'd just received the news that she's been sent for tests for possible cancer of the pancreas.

Being a process driven person, my initial reaction was to tell her not to panic. But knowing me so well, she actually told me NOT to panic and to pray for her, to have faith and - never to underestimate the power of prayer and faith. The women in my family are indeed tough.

I hope that I can be as strong as all of them.

Ps. Please keep her in your prayers.

Revisit

It's been about two years since I lost my inaugural blog. The first Yellow Canaries blog was about three years old before I accidently deleted all of its contents. I do miss my old blog, which started off as a travel diary of sorts.

On the bright side, it's not a bad thing, for the old blog was full of negative memories and I am quite determined to keep this one positive and honest.

I Choose To Be Happy

It's been about four years since I'd last stepped into a pair of bindings in attempt to manoeuvre the wakes and daunting rollers in the sea.

Once upon a time, I’d never have dared to venture out at such short notice. But that once upon a time was part of a lifetime long gone and today I embraced the sun, sea (and rollers) with an open heart. Today, as I sat at the marina and gazed up at the cotton-like clouds set against the clear blue sky, as I soaked in the sun and the warm sea breeze, I felt very lucky, very alive and very very free.

It was an “a-ha” moment, a moment of realisation. That my life is good – I am not a woman caught in war in Afghanistan, not a woman who lives in a country with socio-economic situation that does not allow equal opportunities. I have been fortunate. I am a woman with choices.

Today is the day that I give thanks for life and for everyone, every incident – the negative, positive and neutral – that shaped me into the person I am today.

I still can’t swim, but I dare say that I’d once been crazy about wakeboarding and had tried most of the surface tricks that I could manage and because of the invention of snug life-vests, I’d been fortunate enough not to drown while I marvelled at sea creatures while I snorkelled.

It's taken me many years but I now understand – that happiness is a choice.

I choose to be happy.

A Note From My Mother's Daughter

In the blink of an eye, a decade has passed

April 2010 would mark the tenth year since I saw you last

You have influenced me much of my life, through my growing years, my terrible teens and as a young adult, you’d seen me with a mortar board on my head

I’d missed you so, as 520 weeks passed and I wished you were around, to watch me grow, into the person you’d always wanted me to be – focused and tough, one whom no man would now dare rough

Some mornings I awake, to hear a faint voice in my head, one that sounds just like the sing-song drawl of your voice hollering my name – to get up, get set and seize the day

I’d pass your old Singer, parked at a corner, of the home you’d created and wonder if I’d ever have your talent to plan, cut, sew and put things together in such patient manner

When problems arise and I need a sounding board, how often I wished I still have you here

If there ever is a virtual world, up where you now reside, I hope that this reaches you to let you know how much I miss you...

Sing Sing Sing!

The debut of my new Jazz shoes :)

Lessons from My Family

I am the epitomy of a cultural hybrid - Chinese thoughts, Western ed. Someone who barely spoke a word of English until I turned eight. These are the lessons that my family, including my parents, who are Chinese educated through and through, taught me:-

Lessons from my father:-

1) You can scrimp on anything except food and footwear - they help you go the extra mile.

2) Be a good judge of character; choose the right people, use them right and treat them well so their hearts stay in the right place.

3) Never let me hear you say that you need to depend on a man. It defeats the purpose of money spent giving you an education

4) A man needs to have drive

5) Marry your own kind, for you will share a common background (sure dad, if I can find one)

6) I'd rather teach you how to fish than provide you with fish everyday

7) Commenting on cosmetics:- Beauty is but skin deep. Colour comes from character

8) Always give an elder a red packet. It warms their heart.

9) Told to me in 1993, when I was 16: "I am sending you back to the village in China so that you can learn about your heritage"

10) Told to me in 1987 in Katong: "These are Peranakan houses. I am showing them to you so that you know that these are part of your lineage. Never forget your roots"

Lessons from my late mother:-

1) If you want to be upset over a boy, I will get you married off straightaway. There is no point in giving you an education

2) Never judge another person until you turn 40 (this is one lesson I haven't learned).

3) If the task on hand is hard, take it one step at a time. You will get there

4) You had insomnia last night? No problem. At least you slept for a couple of hours

5) Never break a promise. Your word is your bond

6) Take care of other people's property when they are in your hands

7) Never dress over the top. It's pretentious

8) Bear in mind that 'money can never buy class'

Lessons from my Grandma (the Bibik):-

1) Why bother marrying young? Ever heard of the word "problem"?

2) Gay? So what? He is still blood!

3) Commenting on a sequinned tube top I picked up at Tangs: "Nice! go try!"

4) Travel while you are still young. Money can be earned. Learning and experiences are what money cannot buy.

Lessons from my sister:-

1) You need to consider if you can wake up next to this person for the rest of your life

2) Being opinionated runs in the family (this, I must agree)