A Note From My Mother's Daughter

In the blink of an eye, a decade has passed

April 2010 would mark the tenth year since I saw you last

You have influenced me much of my life, through my growing years, my terrible teens and as a young adult, you’d seen me with a mortar board on my head

I’d missed you so, as 520 weeks passed and I wished you were around, to watch me grow, into the person you’d always wanted me to be – focused and tough, one whom no man would now dare rough

Some mornings I awake, to hear a faint voice in my head, one that sounds just like the sing-song drawl of your voice hollering my name – to get up, get set and seize the day

I’d pass your old Singer, parked at a corner, of the home you’d created and wonder if I’d ever have your talent to plan, cut, sew and put things together in such patient manner

When problems arise and I need a sounding board, how often I wished I still have you here

If there ever is a virtual world, up where you now reside, I hope that this reaches you to let you know how much I miss you...

Sing Sing Sing!

The debut of my new Jazz shoes :)

Lessons from My Family

I am the epitomy of a cultural hybrid - Chinese thoughts, Western ed. Someone who barely spoke a word of English until I turned eight. These are the lessons that my family, including my parents, who are Chinese educated through and through, taught me:-

Lessons from my father:-

1) You can scrimp on anything except food and footwear - they help you go the extra mile.

2) Be a good judge of character; choose the right people, use them right and treat them well so their hearts stay in the right place.

3) Never let me hear you say that you need to depend on a man. It defeats the purpose of money spent giving you an education

4) A man needs to have drive

5) Marry your own kind, for you will share a common background (sure dad, if I can find one)

6) I'd rather teach you how to fish than provide you with fish everyday

7) Commenting on cosmetics:- Beauty is but skin deep. Colour comes from character

8) Always give an elder a red packet. It warms their heart.

9) Told to me in 1993, when I was 16: "I am sending you back to the village in China so that you can learn about your heritage"

10) Told to me in 1987 in Katong: "These are Peranakan houses. I am showing them to you so that you know that these are part of your lineage. Never forget your roots"

Lessons from my late mother:-

1) If you want to be upset over a boy, I will get you married off straightaway. There is no point in giving you an education

2) Never judge another person until you turn 40 (this is one lesson I haven't learned).

3) If the task on hand is hard, take it one step at a time. You will get there

4) You had insomnia last night? No problem. At least you slept for a couple of hours

5) Never break a promise. Your word is your bond

6) Take care of other people's property when they are in your hands

7) Never dress over the top. It's pretentious

8) Bear in mind that 'money can never buy class'

Lessons from my Grandma (the Bibik):-

1) Why bother marrying young? Ever heard of the word "problem"?

2) Gay? So what? He is still blood!

3) Commenting on a sequinned tube top I picked up at Tangs: "Nice! go try!"

4) Travel while you are still young. Money can be earned. Learning and experiences are what money cannot buy.

Lessons from my sister:-

1) You need to consider if you can wake up next to this person for the rest of your life

2) Being opinionated runs in the family (this, I must agree)

Fair to Cry Unfair

Life is not fair. That is the truth.
Slap me hard on the head and remind me not to muse.
Life is unfair. Something dear gets wrenched from you.
A lesson to remind me to stay on my toes.
Life is never fair. That much I know.
For that is one lesson that I have lived thru.
Life is sometimes fair. That I am aware.
But only when I have no grievances to bare.
What’s fair, what’s square, what do I do?
Live with it, get bashed by it, go with the flow.
Going against the tide may just acquire you more woes.

Tribal Beat

I'd just watched FAME and I love this!

On Locks and Bobs - The Sequel

I chopped off the locks that have defined me all my life - at least most of it. The irony was that, even the stylist, famed for shaping bobs, tried to deter me from severing all ties with my long tresses at the start.

"I want a change". I said, as I looked at him.

"Deal. But maybe not that short", was his response.

As he worked his magic scissors on my mane, I stared at the locks that fell around the salon chair and took a walk down memory lane. I thought about the waist-length hair that I wore till I turned 14 and the disastrous bob that I acquired when I turned 17.

Now, one decade and a tad bit later, I am wearing a wavy bob - something that is fairly high maintenance considering how laid-back I am when it comes to styling. Case in point, the said stylist was midway through teaching me how to use hair-tongs to tame my wild tresses when it dawned on him to ask, "do you own one of these?", he said as he pointed to the iron rod he was using to whip my wild mane into shape.

The reply is of course negative. I don't own any mascara, not to mention hair styling equipment!

Stepping into the salon at Pacific Plaza today was part of my first foray into personal change management. It's less about the mane and what it does to my overall look but I reckoned it’s more to do with how I feel about myself.

And the good news is, I still love me! Regardless of hair length and style! And that, in the grand scheme of things, is what matters.

My Dance Performances

Dec 2007 Merengue by Andy Suarez


May 2009 Broadway Jazz - A Medly from Chicago, West Side Story and Chorus Line By Bill Calhoun

On Locks and Bobs

And so, I keep thinking about the bob that I never had. The bob that I'd first aspired to mould the mess of quasi-hay that grows at the top of my head into something I once seen on this gorgeous, confident girl grooving to Pet Shop Boys at a Fire tea dance in 1994 - the days when baby doll dresses + doc mart's combo actually worked.

So yes, I have been deliberating about the said bob for more than a decade and even though I have been known to go into short bouts of analysis about things that matter to me, the bob is one that has withstood the tests of time.

The reasons are simple. I am a creature of habit and wearing a bob may suit me for a couple of days but at the end, I weigh the inconvenience of not having tresses to tie back into a neat ponytail when I am working out, when I am doing my dance routine. I think about the lack of length to curls my fingers around and play with whilst I ponder over an issue, or having the option of sweeping my crowning glory back into a neat little bun when the testosterones take charge and command that I dress to feel sleek and professional.

The boring black-brown locks that I own may have stuck with me for more than half my life but they epitomise me - they curl in all directions when I am stressed at work, they tame to perfection when I am in cold climate and they bounce into happy curls of anticipation whenever I am all dolled up for a big do.

My locks define me. The bob, is still a distant acquaintance.

Fun and Spontaneity

Overhead, also kept in mind:-

Fun is Adventure, Not Binges. Real fun, is found in spontaneous adventures, not just staring at the TV or getting hammered. Unfortunately it is a lot easier to get drunk than to have a genuinely fun time.

A Mental Note

Overheard, kept in mind: When it comes to overcoming life's obstacles, one needs to make a commitment. Sometimes, there is an advantage to burning one’s bridges. If there is no turning back, if you have no other way but forward, then you are left with no other choice but to take the first step, and then the second and the third until you reach the finish line.